My Flashlight

Started in: By Los Angeles (at my sister's)
Ended in: Barstow, CA
Pandora’s Status: Purring like a kitten.

I have started out on route 66. It is very cool. I got lost 3 times today... Following route 66 feels kinda like holding onto the tail of a really big snake that keeps shaking me off.

Has anyone ever asked you a question about yourself that kept bumping around in your head, long after the question was asked? Or, has anyone ever described to you one of your concerns in such a simple and basic way that the concern went away? These are things that I have always wanted to be able to do for others -- its why I picked an other name for myself of "Flashlight". I thought that thinking of myself in that way might help me do such things.

I met a person that truly deserves the name Flashlight. She banished away a set of my concerns merely by restating them in such a simple way that I clearly saw the concerns were meaningless. She also asked me a question that I had difficulty answering, and it annoyed me at first. After a long discussion about me, and at just the right time, she simply asked:

"So, what are you searching for?"

Sometimes there are questions that bump around in my mind for a long time, mostly because the answer is trying to get out of some little mental cage I have put it in. The weird thing is that I always know the answers to these questions, I just don't want to accept them. Sometimes, when the question is asked at a key moment, by just the right person, the answer finds its freedom.

The answer for me is actually very simple. It was always there in the back of my mind, and I knew it, except I had relegated it to the simple status of "minor background subplot"

I am searching for my soul mate, my stargirl (and its not just a simple, minor, background subplot).

This search is intensely intertwined with a number of my other goals. A while back I realized I would not find my stargirl in the places I was. The thing is, I realized she is already following her dreams, ahead of me, and the only way I would find her is if I started to follow my dreams. I realized that I could only attract her if I was being totally true to myself, doing those things that I am wholly passionate about. So along with calming my spirit and being present, I started to cultivate my passions. All of this eventually lead me to the Peace Corps. I guess I knew why I was doing all this, I was just not admitting all the reasons to myself.

All of this has led me to define the Attraction Theorem:

One can most easily attract their soul mate, if they first understand, accept, and honor their own soul.

Thank you so much Sonia, you are a very special person.